Monday, November 28, 2005

Multiple Choice Test for prescreening roommates

Do you, or have you had a history of mental illness?
A: Yes
B: No
C: I have no recollection

Do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol?
A: Yes
B: No
C: I have no recollection

You stumble home drunk with a guest in tow at 2am. He is a Benecio Del Toro look alike, although much more fat, ugly, belligerent and inconsiderate. You let him wander about the ship on his own and where he makes it his business to wander into private rooms where people and guests are sleeping, bellowing, “THIS THING IS LISTING, IT’S GONNA SINK!”
A: You’d never be in a situation to let it happen in the first place
B: Apologize profusely for the behavior and escort him out
C: Make like the whole thing never happened and hope that no one will say anything.

When your birthday card which you thought was on the kitchen counter mysteriously gets moved up to the locked door outside your bedroom, your immediate reaction is:
A: Who was the *#@hole that moved my ONE AND ONLY birthday card? Well that is a “F*#! you if I ever saw it!”
B: Get into a screaming match and full blown temper-tantrum and accuse everyone of being insensitive because it is your birthday and that you are the “Queen of All That”
C: Ride it in stride as it is just a card. Be thankful it didn’t get wrecked from water running across the countertop as someone actually washed dishes for a change.

You consistently have trouble paying your rent. You tend to forget what time it is let alone what day of the month it is. You’ve bounced your rent check again and it is already close to the end of the month. Do you:
A. Apologize and remedy the situation immediatly
B. Say nothing and hope your roommates “just forget”
C. Call your roommate an “*#@hole” because he has finally had enough of holding your hand and enabling you for the past year and a half decides once and for all kick your butt out.

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