I keep thinking of how terrified I was on the day I first saw the Bowie. I was scared to death - scared for a very long time, actually and still am in so many ways. Greig and I had only been together for a year. We had been living in my one bedroom apartment with a mattress in the living room for the kids (we had them on weekends) and his job was part-time and seasonal. At the time he hadn't even got enough hours from the previous summer to even collect employment insurance. That alone was all the motivation he needed to push for a better example for his children.
It was in January of 2002 that he spotted the ad in the Buy and Sell. "136' subchaser, need lots of work." It was only his first year at Accent and it was seasonal work. Where I am from "seasonal" is just that; one season and you generally never go back. He was beyond excited in ways I truly never understood or fathomed. I couldn't grasp how that this ship was better option than the apartment, such as it was. Without seeing it, I knew it wasn't clean and at least the apartment wouldn't sink, at least not in the boat-y sense. I had a difficult time grasping his vision as it was so darn rose-coloured that surely he wasn't that niave.
He was, and I was doomed.
I didn't go on the first trip up to Saltery Bay where it was anchored, I think some deadline at worked loomed and it didn't really occur to me he was so serious about it and that he would get it for the whopping deal of $1. I got home and the deal was done. I am sure I said "darn" at least once along with the other colourful expletives. He had this Utopian vision, if you will, that surely everyone could see and would jump on board fall in love with it all as he had. "Don't they see, it DOES take a village. We are all stronger collectively that we are singularly. It is in their (the man, Bildeburgers, "they") best interest that we don't give a shit about each other - divide and conquer. It is fascism and everyone has their head in the sand!"
In theory we are all stronger together but to get beyond the individual's self serving agenda has proven to be quite insurmountable. As egalitarian as one tries to be (and Greig truly has), it is perpetually viewed as inherently suspicious. People just don't want to believe it. It is far easier to believe that underneath we are all inherently shitty and self serving even when one strives to be the antithesis of it. So, in that, really it was that Greig was doomed. No matter what cheek he turned when I was screaming at him to cut someone loose, he still believed that there was an inherent goodness in this person or that. He always intrinsically believed that they were always entitled to a bit of dignity in a world where there was so little of it to go around.
Yes, he is a bit of a conspiracy theorist; a non-conformist; unconventional to the core. Maybe it is the Viking/Scottish ancestry. Maybe the Gulf Island hippies just were far and away a just more interesting an example than the WASP-y, right wing-minded conformity of his home life. "I've always had a bigger vision than that which was permitted." Either way he was most determined and convincing and I just couldn't not help.
Something I've never talked about is the TV Pilot we filmed about two years ago. You see, we don't really own it, Greig's friend Kate Green does. I've asked her if we could finally put it up on YouTube or Vimeo. It just doesn't seem right that it never will be seen unless you come visit us.*
It is about 10 minutes long and was filmed back in September of 2006. We had a film crew from Paperny Films down volunteering their time and it could been a reality TV show. Anyone I've shown it too since always wants to see the next installment. In the year from when we first did that day of filming to the presentation of Kate's final edit we had been through a lot. It blew me away and it still does.
Confucius said, "May you live in interesting times." Greig is vilified as much as he is celebrated and more often completely misunderstood - even by me at times. At the end of the day he had courage to try something different even though "the odds are completely stacked against me but I am doing it anyway. I'd rather seek forgiveness than seek permission for they'd never grant it."
Truly, if we did it my way I'd have never have ever created this blog, nor have met the people I have. Financially I'm are in a pretty big hole at the moment. I know that will pass as all things eventually do. I've learned a lot about myself and about people. I've been forced out of my bubble kicking and screaming. I've gotten over fears I never thought I'd be able to, petty as they sometimes were.
I've met a whole bunch of interesting people and met some lovely friends along the way. These next posts will mark the beginning of the end for Waterlogged as this story is coming to a close. The great social experiment is over. Maybe it will be Waterlogged Part II, now concrete dust free! or something like it.
Anyhow who am I kidding? I will always have something to say. Thanks for listening.
*Since maintaining her copyright over the video is of prime importance, Kate is going to be posting the video up on her own site in the hopefully near future.